I’m so sorry to hear this, but so happy that it sounds like you’re safe and sound.
Firstly, please let me say that it’s awesome you did all the adult things. Whether or not you were “at fault” in the accident, you acted decently and with integrity, and that is seriously commendable. As a fellow traveler on Spaceship Earth, I’m glad to have people like you in the world.
Because, here’s the thing: We are going to hurt each other. All of us. No one is the exception.
It occurs to me, writing this, how strange is that this idea so often goes unspoken. Maybe we’re afraid that an admission of any responsibility will chain-react into waves of helplessness and guilt. I’ve certainly felt that way, but I don’t know.
Regardless, listen, we live in a chaotic world, and none of us will be sinless. It’s good and wise to learn from mistakes, but God, it’s important to not beat yourself up about every one of them.
I read once that the difference between guilt and regret is that guilt says “I’m a bad person,” and regret says “I did a bad thing.” I’m sure you’ve done many good things in your life, but I imagine that you wouldn’t let those things make you feel like you’ve eternally “become” a good person. Do you see what I’m saying?
It’s okay to feel badly for a while, and very important to grow and learn. But also remember that accidents of all kinds are part and parcel of human life.
The test of character is not whether you make mistakes: It’s whether you let them change you for the better. Keep your chin up. It’s gonna be okay.